as-seen-on-TV

Holiday Light Saver (Tangle-Free Christmas Lights Storage System) – A Marketing Review

For most people, late November and early December means that it’s time to haul the Christmas (errr, holiday) decorations out of the attic, basement, or garage, and to then decorate the house in an appropriate manner.

The spirit of Christmas.

It’s fun, it’s entertaining, it helps spread the Christmas spirit (HOLIDAY!  I really meant to say holiday spirit.  Really.), and the larger number of lights that you use means the bigger your manhood.  Or something like that.  Whatever it really means, we all know that the more decorative lights that you use, then that much more time will be required to keep them all neatly stored and organized.

That’s what brings us here today.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) - (c) Warner Bros. - Clark Griswold needs some help untangling his Christmas lights.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) – (c) Warner Bros. – Clark Griswold needs some help untangling his Christmas lights.

For most people, the biggest problem with decorating for Christmas (Dang it.  That should really be “. . . decorating for the holidays“) is simply dealing with the Christmas lights (Holiday lights!!!  I should really pay more attention to my typing!  Somebody has probably become offended at this point.)  In January it’s very easy to pull down the lights and simply toss them into a plastic tub with the other strands of lights.  They’re then forgotten until late November when it’s time to decorate the house again.  That’s when we realize just how much we’ve forgotten that it’s actually frustrating and time consuming to untangle all of those strands of colorful lights.

Bob Rivers – “The Twelve Pains of Christmas” – original music video

It’s no wonder that “Rigging up the lights!” ranks as the second “pain” of Christmas in Bob Rivers‘s classic Christmas comedy song, “The Twelve Pains of Christmas.”  Sometimes it’s challenging enough just to hang up the lights *without* trying to untangle them.  Good grief!

Anyway, depending on your methods of organization and/or storage, dealing with the Christmas lights (HOLIDAY lights!  I’ll get it right at some point.) can be a breeze or a royal pain in the Arsch.  It’s just a matter of time before somebody, somewhere, creates a new method of storing those dang lights, a method that will (hopefully) make it so much quicker and easier to deal with the lights.

What’s this?

Holiday Light Saver website --- www.HolidayLightSaver.com

Holiday Light Saver website — www.HolidayLightSaver.com

The Holiday Light Saver?

Can this really be the answer to the problem of figuring out an effective way of storing Christmas lights (Whoops!  I really meant to say holiday lights.  Honest.)?

an older TV commercial for the Holiday Light Saver

Let’s take a look and review the advertising for the Holiday Light Saver.  In this case we’ll be using the TV commercial on display at the product’s website (www.HolidayLightSaver.com).  Does this look like a useful product, or does it look more like a scam?

Holiday Light Saver TV commercial - Decorating the house Griswold-style.

Holiday Light Saver TV commercial – Decorating the house Griswold-style.

The advertisement for the Holiday Light Saver begins with an image of a house covered with Christmas lights.  At least, I’m assuming that we’re looking at Christmas lights here.  Neither the advertisement or the website specifically mentioned *Christmas* lights, but rather “holiday” lights.  Since this doesn’t really look like a Hanukkah or Kwanzaa display, I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it’s most likely for Christmas.

Anyway, using lights is a common way to decorate your home for the holidays.  It’s festive.  It’s fun.  And at night they usually look great.

But for many people, there’s a tiny little problem when it comes to Christmas (Yeah, I know, I know.  Holiday.) lights . . . Read more…

Namecheap

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - December 17, 2014 at 4:35 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , , , ,

Catch Caddy (Car Accessory Organizer) – A Marketing Review

While stuck in rush hour congestion on the flyover ramp from I-285 to I-85 north in metro Atlanta, you can’t help but cringe at the solid wall of cars in front of you in an endless train of glowing red brake lights.

It’s the middle of August.

The kids are back in school, it’s still hot and muggy outside, and the afternoon rush hour traffic has returned with a vengeance.  During the summer break traffic wasn’t too bad as many of the commuters were off the roads to take those family vacations you hear about.  Now that school has resumed, so has the higher amount of traffic on the roads, making both the morning and afternoon traffic jams that much worse.

Thankfully, your trusty, 1984 edition of the Pontiac Phoenix is still chugging along just fine.  In the back of your mind you know that those other drivers starring at your 30-year-old car are just jealous.  They wish that they had a prized symbol of General Motors’ engineering and assembly from the early 1980s.  Just last week you had to turn away three different collectors who were interested in purchasing your luxury wagon.  Nope.  This freshly waxed, metallic blue car is all yours.

The windows have been rolled down and a quick breeze effectively cools the interior of the car.  However, just as the breeze ends, the stifling heat returns.  To make matters worse, your stomach is growling and sitting next to you in the passenger seat is a to-go bag of food from Checkers.  You were hoping to make it home before eating dinner, but it looks like traffic isn’t going to allow it today.  As the mouth-watering scents from the food infiltrate your nose, you know that it’s a losing battle to keep resisting the urge to eat in your car.

Maybe I’ll eat just a few of the fries, you tell yourself.  It’s just a matter of self-control.

Your stomach growls in anticipation as you delicately reach into the bag of food and grab a handful of their famous hot fries.  The fries aren’t really spicy, but they have a solid crunch and a tasty flavor.  How the term “hot” was attached to them still isn’t clear.  Whatever the reason, they just taste great.

The moment the first couple of fries enters your mouth you go through a mental transformation.  Your eyes glaze over as your mouth is suddenly overwhelmed by the flavor, the warmth, and the crunchiness of the hot fries.  There’s some quick chewing and then swallowing of the food.  And then a single word enters your mind:   MORE.

There’s no resisting as your hand subconsciously reaches into the to-go bag from Checkers and grabs another handful of hot fries.  This time the fries are forcefully shoved into your waiting mouth.  Your jaws snap shut and graze your retreating fingers, accidentally nipping one of them and drawing a few drops of blood.  That doesn’t register in your mind as you reach into the bag for even more of the addictive fries.  There’s no pain from the bite wound.  There’s only an obsession for more of the Checkers hot fries.

While your foot is still standing on the brake pedal, you reach into the bag, remove the container of hot fries, and then unceremoniously dump them into your gaping mouth.  It’s as chewing frenzy as you simply cannot chew and swallow the food fast enough.  Several of the smaller fries bounce off your face as you continue pouring the rest of your hot fries and scarf them down like there’s no tomorrow.

Suddenly the container of fries is empty.

That’s it.  Game over.  No more hot fries until next time.

In a fit of rage you crumble the empty fry container and launch it out your open window.  As the garbage sails off the overpass and onto the traffic below you, your alternate personality slowly eases out of your body, giving your normal self full control once again.  It’s over.  You’re in control again . . . for now.

The interior of the 1984 Pontiac Phoenix tells a different story.  Crumbs cover the front of your shirt, there are drops of blood on the center console and the passenger seat, and a few of the smaller hot fries litter the floor.  Some of them even fell between the seat and the console, into the so-called “black hole.”

If only there was a way to save those last few hot fries, you tell yourself as your eyes begin to water from the wasted food.  Just a few more bites.  That’s all I want while sitting in this miserable traffic.

But wait!

Catch Caddy website --- www.CatchCaddy.com

Catch Caddy website — www.CatchCaddy.com

Just the other night you remember seeing a commercial for just such a product.  It was called the Catch Caddy.

an older TV commercial for the Catch Caddy

Could such a product actually work?  Can such an accessory like that help save those occasional French fries from falling into the dreaded “black hole” next to the seat?  Let’s review the advertisement and see if this is something worthwhile, or if it’s more of a scam.  NOTE – We’ll be reviewing the advertisement on the product’s website and NOT the slightly older YouTube video.

Catch Caddy TV commercial - Oh no!  Not the black hole again!  $&#@!

Catch Caddy TV commercial – Oh no! Not the black hole again! $&#@!

The advertisement for Catch Caddy begins with a problem that has affected most drivers at one point or another — losing an item to the “black hole.”  No, not that hole that you discovered in the restroom wall last month.  The BLACK hole, a region in the car between the seat and the center console.  Items that fall down there are normally hard to reach, and sometimes they end up underneath the seat. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - August 14, 2014 at 10:10 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Stretchkins (Stretching Kids’ Toy) – A Marketing Review

It’s another day in the summer and your kids are yet again sitting on the couch and playing video games.

As they periodically pause the game and grab a handful of potato chips and wash it down with another gulp of soda (followed by the traditional belch), you can only wonder how your precious little snowflakes transformed into couch warriors.  It wasn’t long ago that they used to enjoy playing outside in the sunshine, enjoying each day to the fullest extent possible.  Now that they’ve piled on the pounds of fat, and merely picking them up and giving them a hug has a good chance of straining your back.

Is there any way to get your fat kids off the couch and get them to exercise, or at least move their arm and leg muscles more than their bowels?

Stretchkins website --- www.Stretchkins.comStretchkins website — www.Stretchkins.com

What’s this?  Stretchkins?  A toy that can help get those lazy kids off the couch and to dance around and exercise?

an older Stretchkins TV commercial

Is it true?  Is there a faint glimmer of hope that an item can get the kids off the couch and to jump around and play, for at least a few minutes?

Perhaps there really is some hope for America’s future.  This almost sounds too good to be true.  Let’s take a closer look and review the advertising for the Stretchkins and try to see if this really is a useful product, or if it’s more of a scam.  We’ll be examining the commercial that plays on the Stretchkins’ website, and NOT the YouTube video.

Stretchkins TV commercial - It's Stretchkins time!

Stretchkins TV commercial – It’s Stretchkins time!

The TV commercial for Stretchkins begins with a call to action by a woman telling kids that it’s Stretckins time.  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!  I can hardly contain my excitement knowing that it’s now Stretchkins time!  I certainly hope that the product can live up to all of this hype about “Stretchkins time.” Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - July 6, 2014 at 5:37 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, exercise, marketing   Tags: , , ,

StufZ (Stuffed Burger Maker) – A Marketing Review

Dinnertime is nearing and once again you’re out of ideas.

Last week you had some hamburgers topped with slices of Spam and head cheese.  While that combination proved to be incredibly tasty, you’re still wondering if it could somehow be enhanced.

But how can you do that?

Should you mix the Spam and head cheese into the burger patty?  That might work, but you’re just as likely to lose the individual tastes of the hamburger, the Spam, and also the head cheese.  It would be ideal to keep the toppings with the burger but not physically mixed into the burger meat.

What if the burger meat was wrapped around the toppings, like a stuffed burger?

That idea sounds so crazy that it might just work.  But how do you quickly make a stuffed burger without getting too frustrated or creating a mess?

StufZ website --- www.BuyStufz.com

StufZ website — www.BuyStufZ.com

What’s this?  The StufZ?

StufZ TV commercial

You mean to tell me that it’s both easy and fun to create stuffed hamburgers?  Awesome!

Let’s take a closer look at the StufZ’s advertisement and see how this is being sold to us, the general public.

StufZ TV commercial – Chef Brian Duffy wants you to make your boring burgers more fun and exciting.

The StufZ television commercial is hosted by celebrity chef Brian Duffy.  As some of you may know, Brian Duffy is one of several chefs featured on the reality show Bar Rescue.  For those of us who have never seen the show, this guy’s identity really doesn’t matter.  He’s an enthusiastic person who wants to liven our meals.

The television commercial begins with Brian Duffy explaining the concept of not just a hamburger, but rather a stuffed burger.

That’s right.  A stuffed burger.

It’s a hamburger patty wrapped around a bunch of toppings.

Brian claims that the concept of the stuffed burger is actually a growing trend across the country.  I’ve heard of the Jucy / Juicy Lucy (a burger stuffed with cheese) in the Minneapolis area, but that’s only after seeing it featured on food-themed television shows.  Otherwise, I haven’t heard any other talk of this alleged craze of stuffed burgers, as delicious as it sounds.

Perhaps there’s a reason for that. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - April 23, 2014 at 6:52 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

My Spy Birdhouse (See-Through Birdhouse) – A Marketing Review

Throughout the spring, summer and fall it’s common to see birds outdoors.

Cardinals are one of many bird species common in the U.S.

Our avian friends come in a variety of species, colors and sizes.  They also make nests in a variety of places, whether it’s in a tree, in a bush, underneath an overhang on a house or other type of structure, and pretty much anywhere they can find safety.

Hell, the birds will even nest inside of airplanes.  Part of the walk-around preflight ritual involves inspecting the interior of the engine’s cowling to make sure that no birds decided to claim it as a home.  I never saw any birds nesting in engines during my flying days, but obviously it’s been a problem for other aviators, or else it wouldn’t be part of checking the aircraft before flight operations.

Bird watching is a safe and calm hobby for many people.

We watch the birds, and they keep an eye on us.  There’s this mutual agreement that as long as we are respectable to one another, then there won’t be any conflicts.  After all, we *all* know that a pissed off bird can easily strike back in the foulest of ways . . .

Angry birds or a secret alliance between the birds and the car wash company?

So what can you do to help stay on the good side of our feathered friends?

One option is to simply put a bird feeder out in the yard.  The birds will love it, but the squirrels will probably enjoy it as well.  It takes some careful planning to make sure that *only* the birds have access to the bird seed.

Another option when it comes to appeasing the birds is in the form of a house.  Bird houses come in all shapes and sizes.  Building a bird house used to be a rite of passage for teenagers in shop class and/or the cub scouts.  Do they still build those today?

Wouldn’t it be interesting to actually see into a bird house and observe the birds as they build a nest, lay eggs, and raise the hatchlings?

My Spy Birdhouse website --- www.MySpyBirdhouse.com

My Spy Birdhouse website — www.MySpyBirdhouse.com

I don’t think so, but apparently other people do.  That’s where the My Spy Birdhouse comes into play. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - March 27, 2014 at 10:31 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Lumi Dough (Glow-In-The-Dark Modelling Clay) – A Marketing Review

Almost everybody has played with Play-Doh or other types of modelling clay when they were younger, whether it was something for art class in school or just when playing at home.

It was always fun to open a fresh can of the modelling clay and build creations.  Some people were very artistic and natural when it came to sculpting and bringing ideas to like.  For others of us it was more difficult to make anything look decent.  Most of the time we simply rolled out segments of clay, stuck them to each other, and saw what happened.

It’s similar when drawing with crayons.  Some people will draw a lifelike portrait while others could barely manage to draw stick figures.  But as long as you’re drawing and having fun, then that’s what counts, right?  Sure, until you enter the real world where people have realistic expectations and you’re expected to meet or exceed them.

Anyway, playing with modelling clay is normally fun and it helps you develop your creativity.  I’m sure that it’s also more entertaining than sitting in front of a television and playing video games.  But what if playing with modelling clay could also be done in the dark?

Really?

Lumi Dough website --- www.LumiDough.com

Lumi Dough website — www.LumiDough.com

The answer lies with Lumi Dough, modelling clay that also glows in the dark!

Lumi Dough website - glow-in-the-dark version --- www.LumiDough.com

Lumi Dough website – glow-in-the-dark version — www.LumiDough.com

Did you say that it glows in the dark?  Holy f*ck!

Lumi Dough TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the advertisement and try to see if this is a real product or a scam. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - March 20, 2014 at 10:43 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Glow Pets (Glowing Stuffed Animal Pillow) – A Marketing Review

What do you do when your kid is scared of the dark?

One such option is called “Shut up and deal with it, or I’ll give you something to cry about!” (SUADWIOIGYSTCA).  Although SUADWIOIGYSTCA is somewhat controversial, this method of yelling and threatening the kid with violence if said kid does not stop complaining can still achieve the desired results.  Just don’t go around bragging about SUADWIOIGYSTCA or you may have to deal with Child Protective Services.  Then nobody wins.

Another option is to simply leave on a light or have a nightlight in the kid’s bedroom.  Simply leaving on a light may add up to a costly electric bill, and having just a nightlight may not provide that comfort factor that the child desires.  Unless you step in and do some parenting, then the kid is still going to be upset in the dark.

Option number three involves purchasing some sort of light up or glowing toy for the kid to play with at night.  Since this is going to regularly occur at bed time, it’s preferable that the toy be something soft and cuddly that the child can have in bed.  We don’t exactly want the kid to be playing with hard objects or sharp edges, especially when asleep.

So what’s soft and cuddly that also glows in the dark?

Glow Pets website --- www.GlowPets.com

Glow Pets website — www.GlowPets.com

What’s this?  A Glow Pet?  Did somebody up there hear our pleas for help during such dire times?

Let’s take a closer look at the Glow Pets’ advertisement and try to see if this is honest or really a scam.  NOTE – While there are Glow Pets TV commercials on YouTube, the official website has a different advertisement.  This review is only going to examine the commercial hosted at the official website, www.GlowPets.com.

Glow Pets TV commercial - It glows!  And it looks like a pet!  Amazing!

Glow Pets TV commercial – It glows!  And it looks like a pet!  Amazing!

The Glow Pets’ TV commercial begins with a quick jingle telling us that not only are the pillows fun, but apparently “. . . Glow Pets are awesome!”  We’ll be the judge of that claim. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - March 10, 2014 at 9:18 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Flashlight Friends (Stuffed Animal w/ Flashlight) – A Marketing Review

As we know, most children enjoy playing and sleeping with stuffed animals.

The stuffed animals can pose as imaginary friends, or they can simply be silent companions.  It’s a friendly face and a soft body that’s welcoming to many younger children.

We also know that children also enjoy playing with devices that create light, such as flashlights.  You give a kid a flashlight and a slightly dark area, and they’ll have fun for hours.  Or until the flashlight’s batteries finally run out of power.

But what if you were to combine a flashlight with a stuffed animal?

Is such a concept even possible?  I mean, can you just imagine the level of excitement a child may have when playing with both a stuffed animal AND a flashlight?  Wow.  The mere thought of that simply blows away my mind.

Flashlight Friends website --- www.FlashlightFriends.com

Believe it or not, but somebody out there created such a concept.  It’s called the Flashlight Friend.

Done correctly, this could actually be a great product that’s both fun and useful.  On the other hand, if this is something poorly assembled, cheap, or just greatly exaggerated with the advertising, then it’ll fall into the category of most as-seen-on-TV products and be a waste of time and money.

Flashlight Friends TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the Flashlight Friends television commercial and see just what they’re trying to sell us here.  SPOILER ALERT — There is misleading if not outright false advertising in this TV commercial.

Flashlight Friends TV commercial - How do we really know that they're friendly?

Flashlight Friends TV commercial – How do we really know that they’re friendly?

The Flashlight Friends television commercial jumps right to the product itself.  Here we’re shown a rather interesting product of a flashlight combined with a stuffed animal.

We know that children love stuffed animals.

We also know that children enjoy playing with flashlights.

But is this really a useful product?  Is the flashlight real or just a glorified nightlight? Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - February 18, 2014 at 11:15 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Ruggies (Reusable Rug Grippers) – A Marketing Review

Laying on the hallway floor is your arch nemesis.

It looks innocent enough, all soft and furry, but you know the truth.  One misstep and you’ll be in the hospital.  Stepping on it wrong probably won’t kill you, but living with a broken neck certainly isn’t a pleasant thought either.

Cautiously you approach it, hoping that luck is on your side today.  You know that this problem has only grown worse over the years, but your laziness has prevented you from finally taking care of it.  Knowing the risks you proceed to step closer and closer to it.

And then your foot makes contact.

This time it doesn’t budge.

You breathe a sense of relief and continue walking down the hallway.  This most recent encounter is a victory for you, but what about next time?  It’s still going to be there.  It’ll be there next time and so on until YOU decide to finally do something about it, you lazy bum.

No, I’m not talking about the pet cat and his habit of biting and scratching whenever people step on him.  I’m talking about that rug that you placed on a wooden floor.  You know, that small rug that tends to slip and cause you to lose your balance half the time.

So what can you do about the rug and preventing it from slipping or tripping you?

Duct tape is an answer.  So are a bunch of nails.  You can even use a bunch of glue and really secure that rug to the floor.  Of course, such options will probably ruin both the rug and the floor.

Ruggies website --- www.BuyRuggies.com

Ruggies website — www.BuyRuggies.com

What’s this?  Ruggies?

Ruggies TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look and see just what the advertisers are trying to sell us.

Ruggies TV commercial - This rug does a great job of hiding the chalk outline of the previous resident.

Ruggies TV commercial – This rug does a great job of hiding the chalk outline of the previous resident.

The Ruggies television commercial begins by showing us a fairly nice rug inside of a woman’s home.  This particular rug appears to be of decent quality.  Higher quality rugs are often thicker and much less probable of sliding on your floor, being a walking hazard, or having their corners curl upwards.

As if we didn’t know, the advertisement informs us that rugs can really help compliment a home’s decorations.  Last time I checked, paintings, plants and even aquariums can help do that as well.

But what if you have a cheaper or flimsier rug, like most of us? Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - February 10, 2014 at 10:42 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Perfect Bacon Bowl (Bacon Cookware) – A Marketing Review

Bacon.

That one word can inspire the hunger in almost any man.

The mere mentioning of the word conjures images of bacon cooking in a skillet.  You then visualize the sound of it frying along with the aroma of the prized food itself.

Mmmmmm. Bacon.

Of course, some of today’s advertisers take this obsession to the extreme, indicating that people, men in particular, simply go crazy for the food.  As we know from reality, this is often not the case.  Bacon *is* something enjoyed and craved at times, but it’s not like guys are drawing swords and going to war over bacon cooking in the kitchen.

Traditionally, bacon is cooked in a frying pan / flat top, in an oven, or in a microwave.  Bacon is almost always cooked in strips, and most of the time it’s served that way as well.  Bacon might also be chopped into smaller pieces for use as a topping or to be placed inside of another food item. When it comes to eating bacon by itself, or having it on a burger or sandwich, bacon is almost always served flat and whole.

But what if the bacon itself could form its own serving container?

Perfect Bacon Bowl website --- www.BuyPerfectBacon.com

Perfect Bacon Bowl website — www.BuyPerfectBacon.com

What’s this?  The Perfect Bacon Bowl?  Is such a concept really possible?

Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial

Didn’t that just look awesome, or what?  Let’s take a closer look and see just what we’re being sold with the Perfect Bacon Bowl.

Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial - IT'S BACON!

Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial – IT’S BACON!

The Perfect Bacon Bowl TV commercial begins by shooting right for the bleeding obvious.  Apparently everybody out there loves bacon.  That is, those people who, A) Are not vegetarians, and B) Are not involved in any religion(s) that forbid eating pigs.  Perhaps an exception to this would be eating turkey bacon, but everybody knows that turkey bacon is not real bacon.

The point here is that we all love bacon.  It’s a delicious but guilty pleasure as too much of the food has a deadly side effect.  But the occasional piece or two of bacon is safe to enjoy.  Just keep it in moderation, folks, unless you want coronary or cholesterol problems.

We’re not here though to hear warnings about how too much bacon is bad for your health.  We want to know how to make bacon an even better part of our meal. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - February 3, 2014 at 10:34 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Bell + Howell Torch Lite (LED Flashlight & Floodlight) – A Marketing Review

A pleasant evening at home quickly transforms into chaos when the power goes out.

One moment you’re cleaning the cat’s litter box and scooping his poop into a garbage bag, and the next you’re slinging the poop blindly across the room.  Hopefully at least *some* of it is landing in the garbage bag, but it’s anybody’s guess at this point.  What you could really use right now is not just a flashlight, but something capable of illuminating more of the room.

Perhaps even a floodlight.  Obviously it has to run on batteries as the power is out, so anything needing a power outlet is pretty much useless.  Now if only there was such a flashlight being sold today . . .

Bell + Howell Torch Lite website --- www.BuyTorchLite.com

Bell + Howell Torch Lite website — www.BuyTorchLite.com

What’s this?  The Bell + Howell Torch Lite?

Bell + Howell Torch Lite TV commercial

Doesn’t that look neat, or what?

At a glance the TV commercial for the Bell + Howell Torch Lite looks pretty handy.  But when we take a closer look at the advertisement, something far different takes shape.  Is this commercial a fraud?  Does it have a lot of intentionally misleading or false advertising?  Let’s take a closer look and review it.

Bell + Howell Torch Lite TV commercial - An energy orb haunting your home, or a pitiful excuse for a flashlight?

Bell + Howell Torch Lite TV commercial – Is that an energy orb haunting your home, or a pitiful excuse for a flashlight?

The television commercial for the Bell + Howell Torch Lite begins by showing us an example of an “average” flashlight.  Of course, in this case, the flashlight looks like one of the crappiest that you’ll find in the market.  The advertisers chose a terrible light to make their product look much more superior by comparison.

Obvious question:  If our flashlights suck as badly as the one in this commercial, what can we do about it?

Wait for it . . . Wait for it . . . Keep waiting for just a little bit longer . . . Read more…

3 comments - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - January 31, 2014 at 10:43 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Wow Cup (Non-Spill Sippy Cup) – A Marketing Review

As we all know from experience, it takes a certain amount of patience and dexterity to drink from a cup WITHOUT spilling its contents.

It’s tempting to rush when handling cups and taking a drink, but nobody likes cleaning up the mess when it spills.  This goes double or triple should the drink spill on something expensive like a laptop or tablet.

But what if you’re one of those people who just has a really tough time handling cups?  What if it’s tough to use cup technology such as lids and straws?  Is there something out there that can help you take a drink AND not make a mess while doing so?

Wow Cup website --- www.WowCup.com

Wow Cup website — www.WowCup.com

What’s this?  The Wow Cup?  Really?

Wow Cup TV commercial

So . . . . . is this just a sippy cup designed for adolescents?  Let’s review the advertisement and see just what they’re trying to sell us.

Wow Cup TV commercial - Wait a sec.  What's the name of the product again?

Wow Cup TV commercial – Wait a second.  What’s the name of the product again?

The Wow Cup TV commercial begins by shoving the product right in our face like we’re stupid.  Is it really necessary to use a huge font for a product as incredibly simple as this one?  Apparently so according to these advertisers.

Remember, the louder and more direct the advertising, then the dumber that the advertisers think you are.  The theory is that they’re being loud because they need to get your attention.  If you’re not paying close attention, then they believe that you’re stupid, even if they’re pushing an equally idiotic product. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - January 30, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , ,

Micro Touch One (Double-Edge Safety Razor) – A Marketing Review

Shaving has been a grooming habit since stones were sharpened into knives thousands of years ago.

While the electronic age has introduced conveniences such as electric razors, many people still prefer to use a metal blade as their instrument for shaving.  These razors can be in the form of a straight razor, a safety razor, a cartridge razor, and the cheap, disposable razor.

Micro Touch One safety razor website --- www.OneRazor.com

Micro Touch One safety razor website — www.OneRazor.com

Here we have the Micro Touch One, a double-edge safety razor being marketed as the preferable way to groom.  Let’s take a look and review the Micro Touch One’s TV commercial and see how it’s being presented as a great way to shave.

To view the TV commercial you’ll have to visit the Micro Touch One’s website.  As of this article’s publishing, there isn’t a good version of the commercial on YouTube.

Micro Touch One safety razor TV commercial - Hey, kids!  It's Rick Harrison from TV's 'Pawn Stars'!

Micro Touch One safety razor TV commercial – Hey, kids!  It’s Rick Harrison from TV’s ‘Pawn Stars’!

Promoting the Micro Touch One double-edge safety razor is none other than Rick Harrison from one of TV’s hit reality shows, Pawn StarsPawn Stars is a reality show based in a pawn store in Las Vegas, Nevada.  Rick is one of the hosts along with his father and Rick’s son.  The people are all history buffs, and most of the time the seem to know what they’re talking about when it comes to quality and great values.

Just remember that in Pawn Stars we also see the darker side of them as they try to coax the sellers into as low of a sale price as possible.  Knowing that, is Rick going to be completely honest with us viewers in this advertisement?

The Micro Touch One’s commercial begins with Rick Harrison introducing himself and telling us a little bit about his pawn store.  This establishes some credibility with him appearing to know what he’s talking about when it comes to cool items and good values. Read more…

3 comments - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - January 3, 2014 at 11:01 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV, marketing   Tags: , , ,

Bright Light Pillow (Bright, Light Up Pillow) – A Marketing Review

Darkness has saturated your home as the hands on the wall clock approach the midnight hour.

Ordinarily, night is one of your most treasured times at home.  You stretch out in bed, watch some of the crappiest cartoons on the air waves, and just let your mind wander as you slowly drift closer and closer to sleep.  That is, until your six-year-old kid began having nightmares again.

It’s a case of the good, old fashioned bogeyman.  Not the phantom stench of unholy terror that hangs around the bathroom after burrito night, but rather a homicidal maniac that speaks only in whispers, wears a clown costume stained with blood, has uncontrollable flatulence, and patiently waits underneath your bed, waiting to snatch your feet and slash you with its rusty machete blade, a blade that is slowly sharpened as the bogeyman waits for his next victim.

Or there’s the case of Leroy the Alligator Snapping Turtle.  Leroy quietly waits underneath your bed, keeping its mouth open, and patiently waiting for your feet or toes.  As soon as you dangle your foot right outside of his dark home . . . CHOMP!  Your ankle is now a mangled stump with broken bones, torn flesh, and blood squirting onto the floor.  Good luck getting that image out of your head tonight!

You’re tried night lights, but that doesn’t work as the child still claims to hear “monster sounds.”  She’s obviously scared of the dark.  If only there was a way for her to have something soft that lights up in a variety of colors.

Bright Light Pillow website --- www.BrightLightPillow.com

Bright Light Pillow website — www.BrightLightPillow.com

What’s this?  The Bright Light Pillow?  Can it really be the answer for making bed time significantly less scary and frightful?

Heading over to the product’s website, you can see the fancy pillows along with the current TV commercial.  Let’s take a closer look and review the advertisement.  Perhaps we’ll even find a problem or two along the way.

Bright Light Pillow TV commercial - Mommy, it was so scary!  It wanted me to clean my room!

Bright Light Pillow TV commercial – Mommy, it was so scary!  It wanted me to clean my room!

The Bright Light Pillow advertisement begins with a scene too familiar with most parents.  It’s a little kid who is afraid of the dark.  You know there’s nothing scary in the kid’s room, but merely telling the kid that fact means nothing.  It’s going to take something far more than just your reassurance to get the kid to sleep tonight.

You may have to do some parenting.

Or, better yet, maybe there’s a toy or something else that you can substitute for parenting. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 29, 2013 at 6:58 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

Cat’s Meow (Moving Cat Toy) – A Marketing Review

A ferocious meow rips through the living room, sending you shivers and striking unimaginable fear into the depths of your heart.

You nervously look around and then spot your pet cat Missy sitting across the room.  The cat’s tail steadily thumps the floor once every three seconds.  Her normally bubbly and charming personality has been replaced by pure hatred.  Next to the cat are the shredded remains of one your your socks.  She must have snatched it from the laundry room when you weren’t looking.

Another sharp cry pierces the silence of the room, chilling you to the bone.  As Missy continues to stare at you sharply with her emerald green eyes, only one thing is clear:  The cat . . . is . . . pissed!

Is the cat upset because you took two days longer than usual to clean her litter box?  Does she want a treat?  Does Missy not approve of her toys?

The cat toys!  That must be it.  In the past month you’ve given the cat four different toys to help keep her amused, and she destroyed each of them.  So far nothing has been able to amuse the cat and keep her entertained.  Sitting in the cat’s box of toys is another shredded sock, the missing companion to the recently destroyed piece of fabric right next to the cat.

A quick thought flashes into your mind.  You recall seeing a TV commercial for just such a cat toy.  It advertised something about keeping your cat entertained and happy.

Cat's Meow website --- www.GetCatsMeow.com

Cat’s Meow website — www.GetCatsMeow.com

There it is.  The Cat’s Meow.  It’s a motorized cat toy that claims to help keep a cat active and entertained.

Cat’s Meow TV commercial

Let’s take review the Cat’s Meow advertising and see just what it’s trying to sell to us.

Cat's Meow TV commercial - The first rule of Cat Fight Club is that you do not talk about Cat Fight Club.

Cat’s Meow TV commercial – The first rule of Cat Fight Club is that you do not talk about Cat Fight Club.

The Cat’s Meow TV commercial begins with a clip showing two cats playing and fighting with each other.  Remember that cats commonly fight with each other as a form of entertainment as well as sharpening their natural hunting skills.  This is a normal event for many multi-cat homes.  It’s not a problem until cats become particularly aggressive and begin drawing blood.

According to the Cat’s Meow advertisement, cat fights are a bad thing and they can be prevented by giving the cats a fancy toy. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 28, 2013 at 11:17 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

Mr. Lid (Plastic Storage Containers) – A Marketing Review

<burp>

That was another delicious meal!

The freshly roasted Spamburgers tasted great with the stewed Brussels sprouts and side of fresh kale.  While everybody finished their Spamburgers, you noticed that both of the kids failed to eat their mandatory number of Brussels sprouts.  Both of the kids quickly vanish from the table before you can confront them about their uneaten vegetables.

Well, let’s just see how they enjoy having them for breakfast, you chuckle to yourself.  This isn’t the first time that they have skipped important parts of their meal, and you know that it won’t be their last.

You walk over to the cupboard and quickly find a plastic container larger enough for the Brussels sprouts.  But there’s no lid!  You frantically rummage through the cupboard, checking underneath other bowls and containers.  You take the search into the next cupboard, but there’s still no lid.

Grrrrr.  Where in the &#$% did that lid go?  I know I placed it in the cupboard after it was washed, you tell yourself.

Oh, if only there was a solution to your incredibly disorganized cupboards.  The Brussels sprouts are going to have to go to waste as you don’t have any other plastic containers with matching lids.  It seems that the kids won the battle against yucky dinner . . . this time.

While preparing to take the Brussels sprouts outside and launching them across the yard with your trusty slingshot, an interesting television commercial catches your eye.

Mr. Lid website --- www.MrLid.com

Mr. Lid website — www.MrLid.com

What’s this?  Mr. Lid?  Are they freakin’ serious?

Mr. Lid TV commercial

Yes, apparently these people are freakin’ serious.  It’s a plastic container with a lid attached to it.  The level of genius here cannot be measured.

Let’s take a closer look and review the Mr. Lid plastic container television commercial.  Perhaps there’s more to this product than what we’re seeing. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 27, 2013 at 4:02 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

Perfect Tortilla (taco salad bowl maker) – A Marketing Review

It’s Taco Tuesday and dinnertime is nearing.

The kids keep demanding something different than just soft tacos and quesadillas.  You have a stack of flour tortillas ready for action.  You’d love to fry the tortillas into bowl shapes, but that requires a ladle, a vat of bubbling hot cooking oil, and some practice.

Oh, if only there was an easier way of making those crunchy taco salad bowls that everybody loves.  That is, an easier way than just purchasing them in the store like you do anyway for the tortillas.

What’s this?  The Perfect Tortilla baking pan for taco salad bowls?

Perfect Tortilla website --- www.BuyPerfectTortilla.comPerfect Tortilla website — www.BuyPerfectTortilla.com

You mean that I can actually bake those tortillas into bowl shapes right here in my own kitchen?  It looks like Taco Tuesday is going to get extra crunchy, extra fast!

Perfect Tortilla TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the Perfect Tortilla TV commercial and see how the product is selling itself into our homes. Read more…

44 comments - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 26, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

Zoomies (Hands-Free Binoculars) – A Marketing Review

We’ve all been in situations where sometimes our own eyes need a little bit of extra help.

Whether you’re out bird watching, in the cheap seats at a sporting event or concert, or just spying on your neighbors and seeing who exactly is dumping their trash inside of your trash cans, it helps to really see what’s happening.  That’s where optics such as binoculars or telescopes come into play.  Using a set of lenses and prisms, devices like binoculars can help you magnify distant items so you can see it better with your own eyes.

But what if you don’t want to hold a set of binoculars against your eyes?  That can be a lot of work, especially if you’re using them at a ball game.

Isn’t there a cheaper or perhaps even a half-assed way of trying to improving your vision without using a pair of binoculars?

Zoomies website --- www.BuyZoomies.com

Zoomies website — www.BuyZoomies.com

Believe it or not, but a product called Zoomies (yes, it’s really called Zoomies) tries to solve that exact problem.  This is an optical product designed to look and be worn like a pair of glasses, but it functions similar to a set of low-magnification binoculars.

Zoomies TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the advertisement for Zoomies and see just how it’s being sold to us, the general public.

Zoomies TV commercial - See that kid waaaaay out there?  I think he's picking his nose!

Zoomies TV commercial – See that kid waaaaay out there?  I think he’s picking his nose!

A day at the park turns to frustration when you spot something in the distance, but it’s just too far away for you to see clearly.  That could have been Bigfoot walking past some big rocks, but since you didn’t see jack squat because of your lack of binoculars, you’ll forever wonder just what it was that you saw while out in the forest.  Great. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 21, 2013 at 11:35 am

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

SeatPets (Stuffed Animal Pillow For Seatbelts) – A Marketing Review

The afternoon sun is bearing down as Junior finally disembarks from the school bus.

Waiting with the other parents at the bus stop, you give him a wave once he’s finally off the bus.  The kid lugs his backpack ten steps towards you before you break off your conversation with the woman who lives down the street, and you carry Junior’s backpack for him the rest of the way to the car.  The two of you buckle up for the harrowing (more or less) ride from the bus stop to the house itself, roughly five hundred feet away.

Just like taking Junior to and from the school bus stop, the kid complaining about the car ride has also become of your daily routine during the school year.  One moment he’s uncomfortable with the seatbelt and the next he’s tired and wants to nap and then he’s bored and wants a toy.  It’s a never-ending cycle with the kid.

And this is just a quick trip up and down the neighborhood’s streets.  Car trips to further destinations such as the grocery store or soccer field are even worse.  You’ve tried cranking the volume on the radio and drowning the kid’s complaining, but he learned to yell right through your music.

Oh, if only there was a way to keep Junior quiet for these car rides, whether it’s for a ride down the street or across town.

SeatPets website --- www.PlaySeatPets.com

SeatPets website — www.PlaySeatPets.com

What’s this?  A SeatPet?  Is that like a fancy seatbelt or something?

SeatPets TV commercial

Actually, SeatPets are more like seatbelt accessories for kids.  It looks like a stuffed animal that also functions as a pillow and supposedly keeps the kiddies amused and entertained during car rides.  Let’s take a closer look at the commercial and see how the SeatPet is being advertised to us, the general public. Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 20, 2013 at 11:06 am

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

Digi-Tech Converter (Video Capture Device) – A Marketing Review

There’s an old box collecting dust upstairs in the attic.

Hoping for some previously lost jewelry, a wad of cash, or anything else valuable, you lift open the lid and peek inside of the box.  Inside is a different kind of treasure —- home movies.  You pull out VHS tape after VHS tape, examining the titles and fondly remembering the events that were recorded so many years ago.

Downstairs in a closet is an old VCR.  You pull it out and manage to connect all the cables to your fancy HDTV.  Holding your breath and saying a silent prayer, you gently press the power button on the front of the console.  It works!  Well, for now at least.  You pop in a VHS tape and watch in awe as memories from the past are present once again.

You got lucky with finding the old VHS tapes along with a working VCR.  Now it’s time to preserve those previous lost memories for future years.  The only question is how to do so.

Once option is to send all your VHS tapes to a third party company and pay for them to convert the VHS tapes to DVDs.  It’s easy and out of your hands, but you may have to pay a steep price for that kind of service.

Another option is to buy one of those VHS and DVD burner players.  Those are somewhat expensive, but it’s easy to play a VHS tape and directly burn it to a DVD.  Keep in mind that you also need a bunch of blank DVDs for this option.

How about using that fancy laptop of yours to digitally convert the VHS tapes?  Don’t you need like really fancy software or an expensive video capture card to make it work?  Isn’t it also really complicated and technical, practically requiring a Bachelor’s degree from Georgia Tech just to set up the software?

Digi-Tech Converter website --- www.GetDigiTech.com

Digi-Tech Converter website — www.GetDigiTech.com

What’s this?  The Digi-Tech Converter?  Are you saying that a simpleton like myself can easily transfer old VHS tapes onto my computer for sharing online or burning onto a DVD?

Digi-Tech Converter TV commercial

Let’s take a closer look at the Digi-Tech Converter advertisement and see just how it’s being sold to us, the general public.  Hopefully we won’t spot any flaws or inconsistencies along the way. Read more…

1 comment - What do you think?  Posted by Dan - November 19, 2013 at 2:37 pm

Categories: as-seen-on-TV   Tags: , , ,

Next Page »