I’m proud to announce the new website, Chamber of Reviews!
Chamber of Reviews is a spin-off of all of the book, movie and “marketing” reviews that I’ve written here at RellimZone.com. The website has a slightly darker theme, playing more into the usage of sarcasm and disgusting themes present in some of the reviews.
Anyway, I’ve already been adding new reviews to that website. I can safely promise that a LOT more are on the way, covering everything from even more cheesy TV commercials to a wide variety of books and movies. Who knows, perhaps even other topics will be reviewed on the website.
For those of you who are looking for more of my “marketing reviews,” check out that site. That’s where you’ll find the new ones.
Beware — you are about to enter the chamber . . . of reviews!
The afternoon sun is bearing down on your patio as the charcoal continues to heat, coming up to temperature.
The grill is almost ready for cooking.
Inside the house, you’re still in the kitchen preparing the food.
Tonight’s meal: hamburgers
Cook time: 4-6 minutes
Prep time: way . . . too . . . long
It turns out that the hamburger meat isn’t quite cooperating and the hamburger patties look like globs of Play-Doh. Oh, if only there was a kitchen product to help make quick and easy hamburger patties. This is just way too complicated!
According to a recent TV commercial, such a product has just entered the marketplace. Say hello to Burger Magic!
Can it be?
Did somebody create a kitchen product that helps you make circular and uniform burger patties? Read more…
Over ten years ago our world and way of life was changed forever when radical terrorists brutally hijacked airliners and used them as weapons in suicide attacks.
Two airliners crashed into the World Trade Center Twin Towers in New York City, another hit the Pentagon in the outskirts of Washington, D.C., and a fourth crashed into a field in Pennsylvania as the passengers heroically fought the hijackers and made sure that their airliner, Flight 93, wouldn’t be used as another weapon.
Thousands of innocent people died in the initial attacks.
Hundreds of millions of people around the world have been touched in some way, shape or form.
Nine and a half years later, Osama bin Laden, the figurehead of al-Qaeda and the world’s most wanted terrorist, met his demise when the warriors of the elite and highly classified (That’s why we’re all talking about it, right?) SEAL Team Six paid his home a visit. Using state-of-the-art helicopters and training, the commandos made a daring nighttime raid and ended his reign, killing him and capturing his body. The Navy SEALs also acquired an untold amount of data that is still being used in the War on Terror, errr, Overseas Contingency Operation.
So how do you commemorate such an occasion?
According to one company, a special commemorative souvenir could do the trick. A . . . JUSTICE COIN!
Yes, just such an item does exist. Read more…
Don’t you just hate it when a massive area of gray hair suddenly becomes visible in the parting of your hairline?
Don’t you just wish that there was an easy and cheap way to temporarily hide it, making the coloring look natural in the end?
Wouldn’t you like to give the middle finger to those pricy salons who actually charge you money to style your hair?
Can cats and dogs really read our minds?
Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was something resembling a can of spray paint that could quickly and magically turn your gray hair roots into the same color as the rest of your hair?
Did somebody say spray paint?
Wait. What was that? Something that looks like spray paint and changes the color of your hair’s roots?
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with Gray Away.
A little while ago I saw a product advertisement that looked exactly like that last question — something looking like spray paint that colored gray roots in your hair. Then again, that “little while ago” was also the last time I noticed the commercial on television.
Before I go any further, it’s best if you visit the official Gray Away website and see the TV commercial. Right now the commercial is only available on the company’s website and not other sites like YouTube.
Did you see the commercial? Great! Let’s start discussing the website and TV commercial. If you lied and didn’t really see the commercial, take the couple of minutes and go see it, smack yourself in the head for lying not only to me but also yourself, and then proceed with the rest of this article.
Ready? Read more…
The other night (I know, I know. It’s always “The other day . . . ” or “The other night . . . “ I need to find a better way to start some of these articles.) I saw a TV commercial for something called the Lint Lizard, a vacuum hose attachment designed to help remove the lint from your clothes dryer’s vent.
As we all should know, the buildup of dryer lint is a serious problem for many people. Yes, you should clean the lint screen after each load of clothes in the dryer, and yes, you should periodically clean the rest of the dryer vent and keep that airway as clean as possible.
After fighting the evil forces of laziness and procrastination, is there some sort of tool to better help clean the vent and remove that nasty lint? Is there really such a miracle product, or am I better off jamming a stick into the lint and scooping it out that way?
Check out the TV commercial for Lint Lizard and see it for yourself.
Lint Lizard TV commercial (NOTE – This is a slightly older version of the current TV commercial.)
Is this just a simple hose with an attachment, or is there more to the story of the Lint Lizard?
Let’s take a closer look at the Lint Lizard’s website and TV commercial and see if we can find anything interesting.
The official website for Lint Lizard (Why do I want to keep calling it ‘Lizard Lint’?) is really simple and doesn’t go into a whole lot of detail. In fact, there’s not even a clear picture of the product on the website. Instead we see a bunch of text talking all about the features and benefits of using the Lint Lizard, and a few small pictures showing the product in action. Is this how you’re supposed to construct a sales page these days? Read more…
Can it be?
Back-to-back marketing reviews for reusable lint rollers?
Yes, folks, it’s true. Your eyes are not deceiving you. A challenger to the Schticky has officially entered the battlefield.
Literally a day after publishing the article about the Schticky, I saw a late night TV commercial (No sane person would continually stay up late and actually pay attention to TV commercials . . .) starring the English-born pitchman, Anthony Sullivan. He began his spiel and all of a sudden I had a feeling of deja vu. Sullivan’s product (as if you don’t already know where this is heading) was for the Sticky Buddy — a washable, reusable lint roller.
A washable, reusable lint roller? Really? Again? Ummm, really?!?
Yeah. Deal with it. At least you’re not the one trying to make this article different enough from the previous one to make it an entertaining read.
Take note that neither the Schticky or Sticky Buddy was the first of this type of lint roller to hit the market. These washable and still sticky lint rollers have been around for ages. Somebody up there in The Powers That Be decided to cast the product again in a new light, most likely hoping to stir interest in it with a new generation.
Here and now, in the dawn of 2012, TWO washable, reusable lint rollers are back in the spotlight. There is room for only one at the top. We already heard the story of the Schticky. Now it’s time to see the Sticky Buddy.
In the words of Al Bundy, “Let’s rock.” Read more…
Look out, world!
VINCE OFFER IS BACK!
Just when you thought that the ShamWow! guy and Mr. Slap Chopper was banished from television after his infamous altercation with a prostitute in Miami back in 2009, Vince has returned with a brand new product commercial!
This time around Vince takes on lint rollers and pitches a washable and reusable lint roller known as a Schticky. A Schticky? Really? Sch’Wheat!
WATCH! As Vince expertly demonstrates the product.
LISTEN! To his non-stop tirade about why you should buy the Schticky.
LAUGH! As Vince pokes fun at his own mug shot.
GASP! As Vince uses yet another double entendre, almost daring the FCC to end his commercials.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you . . . . . the Schticky!
The Schticky reusable lint roller TV commercial
Was that just awesome or what?
Let’s take a closer look at this TV commercial and see just what Vince is trying to sell us this time. Read more…
Over the past few days I’ve been seeing advertisements for the new Bounce TV “TV Our Way” channel, a free, over the airways TV network designed for and managed by black Americans.
But when seeing the advertisements and looking at the channel’s slogan, isn’t the advertising a bit like segregation and apartheid? It lets you know who the target audience is in a very clear and direct method.
Now don’t get me wrong here. I don’t have any problems with certain TV channels being geared towards certain races, beliefs or organizations. What people want to do with their own time and money is up to them. When it comes to watching TV, if I don’t like a particular show or channel, then the remote allows me to continue channel surfing.
But when a company (or TV network in this case) advertises itself as a channel by black people for black people (including the semi-arrogant slogan “TV Our Way”), isn’t that borderline racism towards the black audience? Couldn’t they have used any other way to advertise the new TV network without getting into a person’s race?
Take a look at one of the TV commercials and see for yourself. More of them will be shown and discussed in just a moment.
Bounce TV promotional campaign
The Bounce TV advertisement is reaching for its target audience, which as mentioned before is black people in general. Specifically, the channel is targeting black people between 25-54 years of age with its programming. But to go out and publicly advertise the fact that it’s a black TV channel designed for black viewers, that race-related method is the subject of this discussion. Read more…
By now you’re probably seen at least one of the new TV commercials for Siri, a voice recognition feature and electronic personal assistant application for the Apple iPhone 4S.
When watching the TV commercials and seeing the information on Apple’s website, a different perspective comes to mind. Sure, it’s great to have evolving and innovative technology at such an impressive development rate, but is this particular advancement really appropriate for the general public?
I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, so go ahead and check out the TV commercial and we’ll discuss it one step at a time.
Apple iPhone 4S Siri TV commercial
After watching the Apple iPhone 4S Siri commercial, such a product seems so sinister in more ways from one. This ranges from the conspiracy theory of complete information domination to the dumbing down of America as a whole.
Let’s take a closer look at the TV commercial and see if it plays into conspiracy and even apocalyptic fears. Read more…
It’s no secret that many children are afraid of the dark.
From bogeymen in the closet to monsters under the bed to those strange sounds from other rooms in the house, bed time can be a scary and unfortunately frightful time for children. And adults. And the fish in my aquarium. At least kids can hide under sheets and blankets if they get scared. What are my fish going to do? Hide behind some fake scenery? That’s not nearly as comforting as a protective blanket.
So what can you do to help comfort a child’s fear of the dark?
“Take one step out of bed and your feet are MINE! Ha, ha, ha!“
Nightlights are always a popular option.
So is a television or even a jar full of fireflies. (NOTE — Fireflies need to be replenished each night or the effect stops working.) With a little creativity and that parenting stuff, there are a variety of options that will help a child sleep better in a darkened room.
Those other options don’t really concern you, right? You’re here because I’m going to discuss yet another cheesy commercial that I saw recently on TV. And it’s fun. Well, at least fun for me. You’re under no obligation whatsoever to laugh or even crack a smile.
Getting back on topic, the other day I saw a TV commercial for something called a “Dream Lite” from the makers of the Pillow Pets. The company claims that the Pillow Pets Dream Lite “helps alleviate fear of the dark.” Check out the TV commercial on the company’s website and see for yourself if this sounds like a legitimate solution or not.
To me, it seems like the Dream Lite is more of a simple toy rather than useful child sleeping aid. Let’s take a closer look at the commercial and see some examples. Read more…